Just Plain Awkward
by bookwormtsb
Summary: Hermione and Harry, the wizarding world is severely underpopulated.  Marriage Fic, awkwardness ensues.


Just Plain Awkward

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh and tapped her right foot against the marble floor impatiently. The man across from her was a middle aged, balding wizard with close cropped silver hair and watery blue eyes. _Shut up. SHUT UP! _The arrogant little voice in the back of her head screamed, the same voice that urged her to punch Draco Malfoy in third year. Right now that seemed very tempting. "Yes sir." Hermione smiled sweetly at the man and he licked his lips hungrily. She subconsciously drew back in her chair. He put his elbows on the table and lent forwards, "Miss Granger, I have the papers here, you just have to sign on the dotted line!" He laughed at his own _joke. If you could call it a joke, aren't they meant to be funny? _ She laughed lightly and flashed him another dazzling smile. The wizard stared at her with a dreamy expression like a schoolboy. _A fat hairy school boy that should have graduated at least 30 years previously. _Hermione took the pen that he was holding in a rather awkward way. _Who holds a pen like that? _ The snide voice commented. Upon taking the pen her hand brushed against his. The wizard gave an excited shudder. _Oh so that explains the pen holding. _Hermione signed her loopy signature in such speed that it looked more like _Hermiion Grnager. _Hermione pushed her chair back, flinching slightly at the scraping noise that it made before hooking her backpack over one shoulder. "I better get going then." She said hurriedly and the wizard looked crestfallen. "Second door on the right." He mumbled, the tips of his ears going a bright red. She turned on her heel and headed along the black marble corridor until she reached the second door on the right. It was by far the grandest door on the hallway with two high oak doors tattooed with bolts and ink. Kingsley's office. Hermione gave a small knock and the door swung open.

Kingsley's office was nothing like the rest of the ministry. It was carpeted, the walls were adorned with busy picture frames and it wasn't at all intimidating. Today though, Hermione was terrified. She clutched her papers to her chest. Today the office had one extra occupant, Harry Potter. His hair was damp and had obvious strokes of a comb (probably belonging to Mrs. Weasley) that had tried (and failed) to tame his hair. He was dressed as casually as Hermione in a tight fitting black t-shirt and jeans. "Harry?" She asked quietly and he span around to face her. His face split in a grin and he took two giant leaps towards her before enveloping her in a bear hug. "Well you two seem to be playing your parts well. " Said a loud, clear, well-spoken voice that belonged to none other than Kingsley Shacklebolt. Hermione looked to Harry only to see that he mirrored her bewildered expression. "Huh?" Harry asked simply. For the Boy-Who-Lived her best friend was rather gormless. "What do you me-" Kingsley started before freezing and giving a short barking laugh. "Do you mean to say that's no one's told you?" Harry growled exasperatedly.

"Told us what Kingsley?" He asked warningly. Hermione knew that glint in the black-haired boy's eye. Harry rarely got angry but having information withheld was one of his biggest peeves. Even bigger maybe than Peeves the poltergeist. "That you two have been matched for the marriage law." _Hahaahaha. Nice one Kingsley. Wait? What? _Hermione snapped back to reality. Harry's eyes widened in realization and he twisted towards Hermione with a pained expression and spluttering. "Bah, er, whaaa?" He managed before Kingsley conjured two scuffed leather chairs appeared behind the teenagers knocking their knees forward and causing them to collapse into the soft chairs. Kingsley tapped his chin thoughtfully. "You received 100%."

"We're best friends! We have things in common!" Harry countered.

"You have three months." Kingsley said flatly. Hermione looked confused.

"Until what? The wedding?" Harry shot her another pained look and buried his head in his cupped hands. "No, until we have to consuma-" He didn't have to finish before Hermione stood up and rushed from the door. Harry leapt up and followed his best friend out into the hallway. Hermione was using _Winguardium Leviosa_ to hold her hair while she vomited thin threads of watery sick. Harry came closer to her until his right arm was hooked around her convulsing waist and his left hand was holding her hair gently. "Shh." He cooed quietly muttering a quick _Scourify_. "Mione. We're best friends. And I'm sorry that the idea of having sex with me makes you sick." Hermione gave a small smile through her sick-induced tears. "But we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, and we're going to have a little baby. I'm going to protect you okay." With that Harry kneeled down onto one kneel and flashed her a coy grin. "Will you arranged marriage marry me?" She nodded and he stood up again. Harry gave her a gentle hug, rubbing circles of her back.

Two hours later Harry and Hermione stared in horror at their new ministry issued apartment. The apartment itself was lovely, spacious and very fashionable. The problem however, lay in the bedroom in the shape of a double bed. Of course, being magical the two could have transfigured the bed into two but they had been told by the brief (which had actually been 13 A4 pages in all, which in Hermione's mind was far too long to be called a brief.) that the apartment had been charmed to make sure that the two were always in the same bed. Harry groaned and collapsed onto the bed. "This is-" He tried pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just plain awkward?" Hermione tried before sliding her back down the wall and shaking her head in disbelief.


End file.
